The Sex Machine

    My eyes sprang open, I groaned and looked at the clock. It
was three in the morning and there was Larry standing next to our
bed. I was annoyed, we had not been having a very good
relationship lately, and like all wives I suspected another
woman. Larry liked money and believed he had married it when he
married me. He was wrong, he should have married my father. My
father hated his guts and cut me off. My marriage went downhill
after that day. Like I said, Larry liked money.
    Now he looked so anxious that it was almost comical, the way
he pinched his legs together like he needed to take a piss.
Larry wanted me to see his latest invention and would not take no
for an answer. Larry had his moments, I had to admit. As it
turned out this was a turning point, this day was the beginning
and the end, as you will see in a minute.
    Larry was basically a lazy asshole, but he was also a
mechanical genius in his own way. He could find more ways to fix
things, or more ways to use things, than anybody I ever knew.
Larry could take an ordinary electrical sander and use it to mix
paint, scramble an egg while it was still in the shell, separate
oil from water, and give me a good orgasm. Unfortunately, Larry
could not use an electric sander to sand. This led to a lot of
disappointment and unemployment. It also led to me trying to
figure out how to feed us, with no money. Who am I? I'm
Colleen, his wife.
    The grocery problem is why there is a story to tell. Larry
came up with a new invention, and as usual he wanted to test it
on me first. He dreamed of selling his invention for millions.
He dreamed that way a lot, but he is about 999,999,99 dollars
    Don't mind me, I'm pissed because half the things that make
life worth living, are gone, or so it seems. I haven't seen my
vibrator or hair dryer in over a week. Ok, on with the story.

    "Colleen, you've got to try this," Larry insisted, full of
enthusiasm and disregarding the fact that the clock said 3:00
o'clock in the morning.
    "Whatever it is, it can wait," I complained and rolled back
over. I rolled over so he was facing my back. I knew he
wouldn't go away, he never did. I was hoping my firm, softly
scented ass would distract him. He always liked the little blue
teddy I was wearing. I would have woken up for sex, hell what
women wouldn't? It worked somewhat, he sat on the bed beside me
and ran his hand over my bare leg, then massaged my firm ass for
a moment.
    "Colleen, please," he pleaded. I had almost fallen asleep
again, his pleading voice annoyed the shit out of me.
    "What, Larry, what is so fucking important that I have to get
up at 3 in the morning to see it?" I yelled, mad enough to start
hitting him with any heavy, handy object I could lay my hands on.
    "I... I can't tell you, you have to experience it for
yourself. I promise it's the most fantastic thing you have ever
    "Shit, it better be or you'll be talking to my lawyer. I've
had enough of this early morning shit to last a lifetime."
    "I do my best work at night," he whined.
    "And we starve because of it," I growled as I threw on my
bath robe.
    "Come on," he pulled my hand and I was jerked along behind
him. In a moment I was startled by the cold of outside, sneaking
up under my knee length bathrobe.
    "What the hell, Larry?"
    "It's in the garage."
    "You could have warned me. I could have dressed warmer."
    "It doesn't matter, everything has to come off anyway," he
said, still tugging on my hand. Before I could object I found
myself in the garage. The car had long since refused to fit in
the crowded garage, but there had been an open area in the middle
of all the junk, where more junk could be put. Now even that was
full. The garage was packed with stuff from wall to wall. The
center of the floor was now filled with a metal corrugated
coffin, of some sort.
    "Oh, you've invented a coffin," I said sarcastically.
    "Huh? No, it's something better, you'll see," Larry said as
he tried to strip me. He flipped a switch on the side of the
coffin. I heard a familiar sound and shook off his hands as he
tried to strip me. I followed the source of the sound until I
found my hair dryer mounted on the bottom of the coffin. There
were also several motors, tubes, wires, and a sander under there.
    "Larry, you fucking asshole. You know I've been looking for
that hair dryer for over a week. Why didn't you tell me you had
    "I wanted to surprise you," he said lamely as he undid the
tie on my teddy and pulled it open. My firm ample breasts felt
the cooler air and the nipples hardened immediately. Larry
either didn't see, or didn't care. In a moment I stood totally
naked and completely furious. I was making divorce plans in my
head as I stood there naked and shivering in our garage.
    Larry yanked open the coffin... ok it was probably a missile
storage box, he picked up stuff like that at the government
auctions, but it looked like a coffin. Anyway, Larry yanked open
the lid of the coffin and I found the top and bottom lined with
the heavy rubber used to line ponds. The outline inside was the
shape of a human body, it was a woman's body, but I had not been
the model. I reminded myself to ask him who the model had been,
once I got over the shock of the moment.
    I moved closer to the coffin, curious despite myself. I
almost jerked away and ran, but I was intrigued by what I saw
inside. It looked like I had found my butt plug vibrator. The
top of the lid had a hole where my pussy would be. I found the
tip of my vibrator inside the dark hole.
    Larry pulled out the huge bottle of cooking oil I had been
searching for and with a large paintbrush he began painting the
interior of the coffin. Every womanly curve of the interior was
soon oily, especially the butt plug and dildo. Larry went around
to the lid, unsnapped an area near the head, and pulled the
rubber head off the woman's image. IF I got inside, my face
would be out in the open now. Without asking, Larry tried to
push me into the coffin. I reluctantly neared it and climbed the
    "When you get inside, slide your ass over the butt plug," he
said enthusiastically. I noticed that he had a raging hard-on.
If I had a prick I would have had a raging hard-on too.
    With a great deal of work I got inside of the slippery rubber
image without killing myself. I slowly eased my ass down over
the butt plug and sighed in satisfaction when it slid up inside
me. The hair dryer had warmed the rubber and the butt plug. I
suddenly realized what the hair dryer was for, but I still didn't
forgive him for taking it.
    "Now I'll close the lid," Larry said as he lowered the lid
over my body. The upper impression had slightly larger breasts
than I did. I started reviewing possible candidates in my head.
My eyes bugged out when I felt something trying to push it's way
inside my pussy.