The Outhouse

"Derrick took a sip from his beer and handed the bottle to Stephanie. Stephanie finished the bottle off and tossed it into a pile of rocks. It broke explosively.
 "Shhhh, quiet," Derrick demanded.
 "Who cares, it was the last one anyway," Stephanie said, "what are they going to do, take our beer away from us?" she giggled, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. A startled look crossed her face, then disgust as she looked down at her breasts. Her breasts were wet with beer, not that this made them look any more alluring. Stephanie was dressed as she usually did, in overalls and a plaid "lumberjack" shirt.
 "Shit, I've got to wash this out," she complained. Derrick looked at her wet chest and shook his head sadly.
 "Some people can't hold their liquor," he said sagely.
 "Fuck off."
 "Derrick and Stephanie had been friends since they were three years old. Neither seemed to fit in, in school, and now, during their last year of high school, the senior trip was about to become the same mundane, boring disaster as the rest of the school year. Neither had a mate, or were likely to find one. Stephanie was chunky, clumsy, and a bit manly in dress and demeanor. If she lost 20 pounds she could be beautiful some day, but for now she was still filling out. Derrick was prone to having a beer gut, even though he rarely drank beer, and his features were marred by a trace of acne. He had never had a real date, just outing with Stephanie, who was a kindred spirit and a sister, of sorts. If Derrick had stopped to think for a moment, Stephanie was the closest thing to a date that he'd ever had. She had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. But he had never thought of her in a sexual way, so he didn't consider her an actual conquest.
 "Screech, clang!"
 "What was that?" Derrick bounced up off the yellow sand and scraggly grass to look around in fright.
 "Just the door of the outhouse," Stephanie said, raising up to see who was around. "That thing stinks."
 "Yeah, and it's full of spiders and flies. Isn't there a law against making people use one of those? It's unsanitary."
 "Not at camp, they can do anything they want and call it camping," Stephanie said, then looked at her shirt again. "I wonder if beer stains?"
 "Oh, who fucking cares, it's a lumberjack shirt? You've had that since you were ten years old. Throw the damned thing away."
 "It's the shirt I was wearing when I showed you my tits," Stephanie teased.
 "Is it? The one where you started growing tits and showed me your puffy nipples?"
 "Sure, don't you recognize it?"
 "No, I just looked at your tits, not your shirt. Are they still puffy?"
 "Hell no, and I'm glad. They hurt like hell."
 "Show me your tits again."
 "Why not?"
 "We're older now."
 "It... it just doesn't seem right."
 "I'll show you mine."
 "You don't have tits."
 "Not my tits, you fool, my wanker."
 "Really?" Stephanie asked brightly. Her face suddenly clouded over. "No."
 "Screech, bang!"
 "Damned that thing. Hey," Derrick said thoughtfully, "did you notice the knot hole in the back of the second one?"
 "No, I haven't used the second one. What about it?"
 "It's about eye level. Want to spy on people?" Derrick asked teasingly.
 "No," Stephanie was outraged.
 "I didn't think so. Coward," he said in disdain.
 "I am not, but I'm not a pervert either."
 "The hell you aren't. Remember the time I caught you in the shed with..."
 "Shut the hell up. You want me to drag all of your sick stuff out in the open?"
 "No," Derrick said resentfully. "I'm going to look," he said in sudden resolution.
 "Get back here, you sick fuck," Stephanie hissed, but Derrick was already scrambling across clumps of grass and yellow sand. He fell twice before he reached the back of the outhouse. As he did, he looked down and realized that the area had been much used. He looked on either side of the outhouse and realized that there was no easy way to get to the back, from the front. It was screened off by thick pines and blackberry bushes. Derrick turned and waved Stephanie forward, pointing at the trampled ground beneath his feet.
 "You see, lot's of people use this," he said in satisfaction.